I Met Your Dream Girl Today

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
11/18/2013 at 21:47 • Filed to: Dream Girl

I was returning from having lunch with my wife when I happened to be walking into the building with a lady. She was late 30's, nice looking, short blonde... She murmured to herself about what a nice car that was. "What car was that?" She responded: "The C7 that Bob just bought." Then things got interesting.

"Someone got a Stingray here?" I asked. "Yup, a British Racing Green Stingray Corvette." Not a lot of people know what "British Racing Green" is, much less a lot of attractive women. But the next unsolicited comment she made had me really curious: "I should race him with my Pony. He wouldn't be able to keep up with me." "Pony? You have a Mustang?" We then walked into the elevator.

"Yeah, it's a 2013 GT500 with the racing pack. It has just over 800 horsepower." "Wait... You have a GT500 SUPER SNAKE?! Is it in the parking garage?!?!", I gasped. "No, I keep her at home, well-waxed and babied. She's black, so I have to keep her clean." She then exited the elevator on the second floor, and I continued my trip up to the fourth.

Since I am very happily married, I submit this woman as your dream girl. Guys, don't lie and tell me that you're not drooling.

DISCUSSION (63)

Aaron Brown > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 21:49

But it isn't British Racing Green. It's Lime Rock Green!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 21:50

Kinja'd!!!

Biostar01 > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 21:52

Kinja'd!!!

Oh. my. gosh.

Never mind, I'm way too young.

Someone Else's Projects > Aaron Brown
11/18/2013 at 21:53

Oh no, a fake car girl! Call off the worshiping everyone!

PatBateman > Aaron Brown
11/18/2013 at 21:54

You're overlooking the fact that she knows what British Racing Green is.

PatBateman > Biostar01
11/18/2013 at 21:55

Cougars and cubs, yo.

Birddog > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 21:56

My dream girl doesn't have an underbite.

imadeaburner > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:01

My girl is just as good as her.

She wants to get the FRS or BRZ, she is dying to get a Mustang, and her dad may buy her either, and whatver she gets will be a stick.

We actually met because of our love of cars.

It's pretty awesome.

joemcm > imadeaburner
11/18/2013 at 22:04

That's clutch. Go FR-S for sure.

imadeaburner > joemcm
11/18/2013 at 22:06

I'm pushing the FRS on her pretty hard.

She loves the look of them.

My Ex has a Roush Stage 3 Mustang. But she's a cheating whore.

N/A POWAAAHH > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:06

About 20 years too old for me

Kugelblitz > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:14

I bet she also is a Russian secret agent and supermodel too.

Nah, I am just envious.

Tony Montana > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:16

I half expected to read something about how you were filing for a divorce.

On an unrelated note, thanks to your username, I read everything you post in Christian Bale's voice and I can never take it seriously.

PatBateman > N/A POWAAAHH
11/18/2013 at 22:16

Hopefully you're in your teens as well. If not, I'm calling the cops.

Biostar01 > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:17

xD yeah, I'm 12

PatBateman > Tony Montana
11/18/2013 at 22:18

...Says the guy that uses the handle "Tony Montana". :)

Biostar01 > N/A POWAAAHH
11/18/2013 at 22:18

Same spot as you...

assuming you are in your teens (I'm still younger than you).

PatBateman > imadeaburner
11/18/2013 at 22:20

Is it wrong that I'm laughing at "My Ex has a Roush Stage 3 Mustang. But she's a cheating whore."?

Sorry about you dating a slut in the past, but try and marry the current chick.

PatBateman > Kugelblitz
11/18/2013 at 22:22

I probably should have added "no SR20" to my post.

imadeaburner > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:23

We are engaged.

Once she moves back into state we are gonna get a place together and get married.

She loves cars, loves my car, loves me. I love her.

She is very supportive of me racing and stuff, so It's all good.

Tony Montana > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:26

...touche, although I find it easier to read your posts in Bateman's 80s-businessman-douche voice than Montana's 80s-coked-up-Cuban voice.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:27

"I'd drag my dick through a mile of broken glass just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie"

PatBateman > imadeaburner
11/18/2013 at 22:28

^Five.

Very good, sir.

PatBateman > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
11/18/2013 at 22:30

Stop stealing quotes from the love note to Orlove.

Unless the same applies in this situation.

imadeaburner > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:30

It will be a good future I tihnk haha.

I'm gonna teach her how to drive stick very soon. Just nervous doing that with my car.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:33

It does, I'm currently in the process of drinking the required beers needed to supply the bottles.

PatBateman > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
11/18/2013 at 22:36

To numb the sting of slicing your manhood on broken glass?

Switch to grain alcohol.

PatBateman > imadeaburner
11/18/2013 at 22:39

Well good for you!

And it's not that tough to learn stick. Just go over it with her while she's sitting on a chair before she gets in the driver's seat. Make sure she gets the "push in clutch BEFORE rowing the gears" motion. Hell, I learned on an arcade game in the late 80's.

imadeaburner > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:43

I learned on an arcade game when I was like 8 then a real car when I was thirteen.

The issue is my car has a full race kevlar face clutch....Not exactly gentle. lol

PatBateman > imadeaburner
11/18/2013 at 22:52

Yeah , you might want to rent a car for this endeavor.

imadeaburner > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:54

Or borrow her dads mustang.

Or the Corvette.

Or the Camaro.

Or the Jeep.

Or her brothers Mustang.

Or I can "borrow" the cheating whores mustang.

PatBateman > imadeaburner
11/18/2013 at 22:57

First five choices would be good.

Last one... Only if you want a GTA charge.

imadeaburner > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 22:59

I have a key for that fucking thing somewhere....

She gave me a key when she got it cause she was terrified of the fucking thing.

I'm tempted on her dad's Corvette.

Its a C4 with a 6 speed.

PatBateman > imadeaburner
11/18/2013 at 23:01

Let's start with the Jeep. Less illegal.

imadeaburner > PatBateman
11/18/2013 at 23:02

Probably the smart choice.

We shall see what happens.

And if her dad even lets me near his cars.

I might try to find an Arcade near her that has a good racing sim with a clutch and everything.

PatBateman > imadeaburner
11/18/2013 at 23:05

The game I learned on. It even had a clutch.

Kinja'd!!!

sloPro > Biostar01
11/18/2013 at 23:11

Kinja'd!!!

PatBateman > Biostar01
11/18/2013 at 23:17

12...

Ignore the "cougars and cubs" comment. I was talking about animals.

Philbert/Phartnagle > PatBateman
11/19/2013 at 00:56

Oh shit! I just had an orgasm!

N/A POWAAAHH > Biostar01
11/19/2013 at 07:47

I'm 18

N/A POWAAAHH > PatBateman
11/19/2013 at 07:48

I'm only 18!

imadeaburner > PatBateman
11/19/2013 at 09:07

The same fucking one I learned on.

That game was awesome.

Fun Spot in NH still has it!

PatBateman > imadeaburner
11/19/2013 at 10:41

LOL Really? I played the hell out of it in the "Gold Mine" arcade in Parkdale Mall, Beaumont, Texas. When my dad would go to the suit store right across the walkway, he would give me a five and send me there. I learned to drive stick 4 years before I got behind the wheel.

imadeaburner > PatBateman
11/19/2013 at 10:53

I learned 5 years before I drove a real car, and then 8 years before I legally could drive. lol

We lived ina small town so when my mom was alive she would let me drive the car with her in it across town and stuff, when she passed away my grandma didn't really allow that, but occasionally let me go out with the car.

But yea, Fun Spot in NH has that game STILL

And I wanna go now so I cna play it

MonkeePuzzle > PatBateman
11/19/2013 at 12:33

she would mock me for my Civic love, so no, not MY dream girl

Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? > PatBateman
11/19/2013 at 12:33

I love this thread.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > N/A POWAAAHH
11/19/2013 at 12:34

She's just right for me...my wife might not like it though.....

PatBateman > MonkeePuzzle
11/19/2013 at 12:40

Nonsense!! She wants you to love what she loves. You don't have to own a Ford GT to get this woman.

MonkeePuzzle > PatBateman
11/19/2013 at 12:44

she would laugh at my ~170 horses with her 800+, then probably point in the general direction of my crotch and continue to laugh

PatBateman > MonkeePuzzle
11/19/2013 at 12:46

OR she might work on the car with you to get the engine up to 300 RWHP.

Stay positive, Bro!!

MonkeePuzzle > PatBateman
11/19/2013 at 13:30

ooooo, long nights in the garage converting to RWD, she IS my dream girl

hey... noone tell my wife!

N/A POWAAAHH > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
11/19/2013 at 13:47

Just tell her that sharing is caring

KamikazePigeon > PatBateman
11/19/2013 at 14:02

"Guys, don't lie and tell me that you're not drooling."

I would also be lying if I didn't have the weirdest erection from a mostly text Oppo post right now.

Is this what the Fifty Shades of Grey for Men feels like? We could call it "Fifty Hues of Green"

Patent Pending.

m2m, apex detective > PatBateman
11/19/2013 at 14:12

Like 'em animals in that documentary 2 Cougs 1 Cub ? Soooo cute, amirite?

m2m, apex detective > PatBateman
11/19/2013 at 14:16

Once saw a lady in her thirties at the lights, sitting there in a grey RS6 Avant. She got bonus points for producing a clearly audible burble on take-off, almost-minus points for rocking a Hello Kitty sticker on the back of the car. Can't comment on her intellect, though, and I don't even know if it was dad's or a potential husband's car. :/

PatBateman > KamikazePigeon
11/19/2013 at 14:39

I must admit, I had to adjust my pants a little when I stepped off if the elevator myself.

Fifty hues of green... I'd buy the book.

PatBateman > m2m, apex detective
11/19/2013 at 14:40

Nah, more like Too Cute, the show that documents nothing but puppies and kittens.

PatBateman > m2m, apex detective
11/19/2013 at 14:41

Hopefully, with the Hello Kitty sticker on the back, it was hers.